Rules for a gunfight

I learned to handle and shoot guns before I was a teenager. So it was with a certain sense of amusement that I encountered a set of 28 rules in Field and Stream. Here are my favorites:

• Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammunition is cheap - life is expensive. If you shoot inside, buckshot is your friend.
  
  
• In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
  
  
• Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
  
  
• Stretch the rules. Always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
  
  
• Use cover or concealment as much as possible, but remember, sheetrock walls and the like stop nothing but your pulse when bullets tear through them.
  
  
• Watch their hands. Hands kill. Smiles, frowns and other facial expressions don't.
  
  
• Regardless of whether justified of not, you will feel sad about killing another human being. It is better to be sad than to be room temperature.
  
  
• The only thing you EVER say afterwards is, "He said he was going to kill me. I believed him. I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm very upset now. I can't say anything more. Please speak with my attorney."
  
  
• Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
  

And finally, a Rule For Unarmed Combat: Never be unarmed

I'm a centrist in most things, so TYWKIWDBI tends to draw readers from both sides of the various aisles and from a few fringes. A bunch of you will find the above list abhorrent; a bunch more will chortle and email them to your friends. Let's not use the comment section here for a verbal battleground.

Found at Kottke this morning.