Three-legged races too dangerous for kids

" The sack race and three-legged race have been banned from a school sports day because the children might fall over and hurt themselves.

Simon Woolley, head of education at Beamish in Co Durham, said: “We looked at a three-legged race and a sack race but what we want to do is minimise the risk to the children. We thought we would be better to do hopping and running instead because there was less chance of them falling over.”

In order to prevent the children from becoming the bloated adults of a Wall-E world future, "running, hopping and throwing table-tennis balls into buckets will be allowed."

I'm not making this up...