02 March 2020

A selection of showerthoughts

A "showerthought" is a loose term that applies to the types of thoughts you might have 
while carrying out a routine task like showering, driving, or daydreaming. At their best, showerthoughts are universally relatable and find the amusing/interesting within the mundane.
Amish girls have no way of knowing if it's a romantic candlelit dinner or just a regular dinner.

Kids want to grow up and become more powerful. Adults miss being young and having less responsibility.

If reincarnation is real, then maybe flies and other bugs are purposely annoying because they want to get killed and get reincarnated as something better.

The older you get, the more you realize that socks are actually a decent present.

Going to McDonald’s and ordering a salad is like going to a prostitute and asking for a hug.

The first person to make ice cream probably ate all the ice cream in the world (at the time).

If Satan punishes bad people, he must be good.

If kids are watching too much TV, mute it and put on subtitles so they will be forced to read.

Aliens in UFOs probably lock their doors when they go past Earth.

Not having insurance is like an opposite lottery, you gain a little bit of money every day with the possibility of losing big.

When you’re happy you hear the melody; when you’re sad you hear the lyrics.

Either someone will watch you die, somebody will find your dead body, or your body will never be found.

The first humans sent on a voyage to another solar system might be greeted by humans who were sent later using faster space ships.

A person wearing a suit in a room of people wearing t-shirts is probably the most important person in the room. Similarly, a person wearing a t-shirt in a room full of people wearing suits is probably the most important person in that room.

We live in an age when some people will get antivirus material for their computers, but not for their children.

Characters in movies never have to adjust the driver’s seat when they buy or steal a car.

It would be cool if, when you die, you could see the top five times you almost died.

At the same time your parents were watching you getting older, you were watching them getting older – but you didn’t know it.

In the future when sex robots are perfected, the only way to know whether your partner is human or a robot will be to show them a set of pictures and ask which show airplanes.

Before social media, all this shit just stayed in people’s heads.

Everyone wonders where we go after we die, but not as many people wonder where we were before we were born.

Someone developed the internet without the benefit of the internet.

If you think law enforcement officers are bad because a few of them are bad, then you have the same mindset as those who think all Muslims are bad because some are terrorists.

A high-school student who learns calculus knows more math than Isaac Newton did at the same age.

We have all at one point kicked a pregnant lady.

The whole point of a book’s cover is so that people can judge it.

The nicer the house, the harder it is to find the kitchen garbage can.

You can’t write the digits of pi backwards.

People are so amazed by the fact that every snowflake is different, but nobody cares that every potato is unique.

As soon as you start having kids, you have to go back to asking your parents if you can go out.

These are my favorite ones assembled after years of monitoring Reddit; you can find more at that link.

5 comments:

  1. the funny part is that the link to reddit is not there; there has to be a showerthought about that!

    I-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fixed; I had accidentally pasted in text rather than the url.

      Delete
  2. They sound like Mitch Hedberg jokes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or dorothy parker quotes?

      I-)

      Delete
  3. Why do we park on driveways, yet drive on parkways?

    And on a related note, if you send a package in a car, it's a shipment, but if you sent it in a ship, it's cargo.

    Showerthoughts are fun.

    ReplyDelete

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