25 June 2021

Zipperless pants for discreet peeing. And the converse.

Chickfly makes activewear pants and leggings designed to facilitate discrete urination by women in the great outdoors.  Reviewed at Outside:
Before I began trying the pants outside, though, I practiced their capabilities over the toilet and in the shower. You can open the fly, which is made from overlapping pieces of fabric, from the back (giving you enough space to go number two, but a little less privacy) or from the front (good for number one and more private, but creating a smaller opening). My success rate was high—I only peed on myself once—but I was grateful for the practice of stretching the fly and angling my legs and hands correctly, which would have been difficult to do outdoors for the first time. 

To wipe before returning to your outdoor shenanigans, you might need extra practice holding back the fabric layers with one hand while the other wields a pee rag or wad of toilet paper. This technique worked best for me when I used one hand to open them from the front. The pants, which are made of a super-soft, legging-like material, are intended to be worn without underwear, and they are very comfortable and functional commando (you can even wear a pad on the upper layer). It is possible to wear undergarments if you prefer: you’ll just have to pull them aside along with the pant layers. 

Once you’ve practiced using the fly, the process is the same as any time you pee outdoors—find a comfortable place, squat, and go—but takes half the time. And the major win here is for privacy. You don’t need to pull the pants all the way down to go, and if you’re opening them from the front, your back and sides will be fully covered. When you’re done, the stretchy fabric springs back into place so you never feel exposed for long. Granted, you’re still peeing outside, so privacy is relative, but you avoid the hassle of hoisting your pants back up and mooning other outdoor patrons. 
More at the link.  And in the most converse item possible, there is another company that sells jeans designed to look like you did pee yourself:

Its pants bear what appears to be a wet spot front and center, as if to scream to the wondering world: Had to go, didn't have time. 

"Wet look, dry feel," the company promises. "Our jeans are designed to mimic the aesthetic of urinary incontinence without the commonly associated discomfort."

"Believe it or not, there are people who actually do enjoy the 'wet look,'" the company's creator tells me via email, sharing this photo to prove the point. "It's unclear to us if this is meant as a sexual fetish or for pure shock value, though it doesn't really matter either way." 
More at cnet.


  1. For "discrete" read "discreet". (For you, of all people, to trip up on this one! ;-)

    1. Thank you, Frank. Interesting that they have the same etymology from Old French discret, from Latin discrētus.

    2. And Wiktionary notes -

      "Although cognate and identical in the Middle English period, [discrete] has become distinct from discreet."

      So... the terms have become... discrete.

    3. This comment system needs an upvote/like option!

      Until then, Niiiice.

  2. Pretty sure these pants are being marketed to an entirely different audience as well...

  3. The zipperless pants are an accident waiting to happen. So...you're crouched for combat (so to speak), but at the WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, you lose your grip, the pants close back up at the, again, the WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, and you have either wet your pants or, worse, soiled them.

    And the whole, um, final act of #2 has got to be about an unwieldy as it gets. One little misfire, so to speak, and you're going to wish you'd been eaten by a bear...rather than go out and face your comrades who will surely begin to notice some things.

  4. shades of the box backed union suit! :-)


  5. "while the other wields a pee rag or wad of toilet paper. . ."
    We live up a remote lane much used by hill-walkers. These damnable pee-pee tissues! They are really not biodegradable, folks: I'll be picking them up from every gateway after the weekend. As a patriarch it's probably good for me to deal with the effects of entitlement.


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