"Things You Wouldn't Know If We Didn't Blog Intermittently."
After months and months of work, I'm finally writing up my first two journal publications right now... and they're nowhere near as clever as this.
I don't know your field, but in general for the sciences it's not necessary to be clever. You have to be accurate, of course, and for the sake of the reveiwers and the readers, try to be concise. My main suggestion to you if you're experiencing anguish in the writing process would be to not try to write a perfect paper in the first draft. Write anything just to get it roughed out. Then go back over it again and again. Rewriting is much easier than first-drafting.
i use http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/ for all my journal publications. I-)