Interesting obituary

"William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election. He leaves behind four children, five grandchildren, and the potted meat industry, for which he was an unofficial spokesman until dietary restrictions forced him to eat real food.

William volunteered for service in the United States Navy at the ripe old age of 17 and immediately realized he didn't much enjoy being bossed around. He only stuck it out for one war. Before his discharge, however, the government exchanged numerous ribbons and medals for various honorable acts.

Upon his return to the City of New Orleans in 1971, thinking it best to keep an eye on him, government officials hired William as a fireman. After twenty-five years, he suddenly realized that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them. He promptly retired. Looking back, William stated that there was no better group of morons and mental patients than those he had the privilege of serving with (except Bob, he never liked you, Bob).

Following his wishes, there will not be a service, but well-wishers are encouraged to write a note of farewell on a Schaefer Light beer can and drink it in his honor. He was never one for sentiment or religiosity, but he wanted you to know that if he owes you a beer, and if you can find him in Heaven, he will gladly allow you to buy him another. He can likely be found forwarding tasteless internet jokes (check your spam folder, but don't open these at work). Expect to find an alcoholic dog named Judge passed out at his feet.

Unlike previous times, this is not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends. He assures us that he is gone. He will be greatly missed."

Published in The Times-Picayune on Aug. 12, 2016.  Condolences at the source.

TIL: old cannonballs can explode

I don't envy the people who lived through the most recent hurricane, but I do envy those who were able to access those beaches afterwards with their metal detectors.  They probably scooped up handfuls of gold doubloons.

But "today I learned" that cannonballs of the Civil War era are supposedly dangerous (?)

A bomb squad was at a South Carolina beach on Sunday after Hurricane Matthew apparently unearthed old Civil War cannonballs from the sand.

Charleston County Sheriff's spokesman Maj. Eric Watson said in a news release that the cannon balls were found on Folly Beach Sunday afternoon, but bomb squad members couldn't get to it immediately because of the rising tide.

Once the ocean level goes down, Watson said technicians would render the cannonballs safe. He warned residents might hear a small boom.

I didn't realize a) that cannonballs of that era were packed with explosives, or b) that the material could still be reactive.  Frankly, I probably would have picked those up from the beach.

Coulrophobia

Coulrophobia explained.

And the etymology:

A neologism, coined in the late 1980s or 1990s. Supposedly based on Ancient Greek κωλοβαθριστής ‎(kōlobathristḗs, “one who goes on stilts”) (from κωλόβαθρον ‎(kōlóbathron, “stilt”), from κῶλον ‎(kôlon, “limb”) + βαίνω ‎(baínō, “I go”), chosen for lack of an obvious Ancient Greek equivalent of "clown", combined with the -phobia ‎(“fear of”) suffix.

Cartoon via Jobsanger.

Maple trees on a Japanese mountain range crest

Image via imgur.  Discussed in this Reddit thread.

"American Imperium"

Excerpts from an essay in Harper's:

Republicans and Democrats disagree today on many issues, but they are united in their resolve that the United States must remain the world’s greatest military power. This bipartisan commitment to maintaining American supremacy has become a political signature of our times. In its most benign form, the consensus finds expression in extravagant and unremitting displays of affection for those who wear the uniform. Considerably less benign is a pronounced enthusiasm for putting our soldiers to work “keeping America safe.” This tendency finds the United States more or less permanently engaged in hostilities abroad, even as presidents from both parties take turns reiterating the nation’s enduring commitment to peace.

To be sure, this penchant for military activism attracts its share of critics. Yet dissent does not imply influence. The trivializing din of what passes for news drowns out the antiwar critique. One consequence of remaining perpetually at war is that the political landscape in America does not include a peace party. Nor, during presidential-election cycles, does that landscape accommodate a peace candidate of voter consequence. The campaign now in progress has proved no exception. Candidates calculate that tough talk wins votes. They are no more likely to question the fundamentals of U.S. military policy than to express skepticism about the existence of a deity. Principled opposition to war ranks as a disqualifying condition, akin to having once belonged to the Communist Party or the KKK. The American political scene allows no room for the intellectual progeny of Jane Addams, Eugene V. Debs, Dorothy Day, or Martin Luther King Jr.

So, this November, voters will choose between rival species of hawks. Each of the finalists will insist that freedom’s survival hinges on having in the Oval Office a president ready and willing to employ force, even as each will dodge any substantive assessment of what acting on that impulse has produced of late. In this sense, the outcome of the general election has already been decided. As regards so-called national security, victory is ensured. The status quo will prevail, largely unexamined and almost entirely intact.

Citizens convinced that U.S. national-security policies are generally working well can therefore rest easy. Those not sharing that view, meanwhile, might wonder how it is that military policies that are manifestly defective — the ongoing accumulation of unwon wars providing but one measure — avoid serious scrutiny, with critics of those policies consigned to the political margins...

The essay concludes with this rather thought-provoking comment:

Nearly a century after Americans hailed the kaiser’s abdication, more than seventy years after they celebrated Hitler’s suicide, and almost thirty years after they cheered the fall of the Berlin Wall, a thoroughly pacified Europe cannot muster the wherewithal to deal even with modest threats such as post-Soviet Russia. For the United States to indulge this European inclination to outsource its own security might make sense if Europe itself still mattered as much as it did when the War for the West began. But it does not. Indeed, having on three occasions over the course of eight decades helped prevent Europe from being dominated by a single hostile power, the United States has more than fulfilled its obligation to defend Western civilization. Europe’s problems need no longer be America’s.

I welcome comments from European readers.

"Two-handed snake"

YouTube link.

Here's the original, from the Jungle Book movie:

YouTube link.

With a few clicks, you can "sync" the two videos by playing the Jungle Book one until the song starts, then starting the hand puppet video.

Nicely done.  Via Neatorama.

Better SPF than zinc oxide

Sea lion pups allegedly roll in the sand for sun protection.

Very tough geography quiz

Do you have a friend/relative/spouse who thinks he/she is the bee's knees of geography knowledge?  I offer you a quiz question that will bring them to their knees.

Just one question: What independent country has the "highest lowest point" ?
Not the highest point, mind you.  We're not talking Nepal or Tibet.  We want the country whose lowest point is higher than any other country's lowest point.   Nepal, for example, has "southern lowland plains."

The correct answer is a country which exists "entirely above 1,000m."  To be more precise: "Its lowest point of 1,400 metres (4,593 ft) is thus the highest in the world. Over 80% of the country lies above 1,800 metres (5,906 ft)."

Where is this country?  I wouldn't have guessed it in a hundred years.

Answer here.

Res ipsa loquitur

"The theme for her show was “Invisible Clothes.” And in seeming contradiction to that idea, she offered some of the most outsize, extreme and extraordinary notions: kilts that were as enormous as a tent, trousers that could hold a veritable crowd within a single leg and a giant hood that took on the proportions of a sarcophagus. This wasn’t so much a line of clothes destined for your closet as it was a statement for the season — for the times."

Someone else can figure out what that "statement" is.  I'll defer commentary.  (Other pix from the show at the link.)

Photo credit: Comme des Garcons Spring/Summer 2017 collection. (Jonas Gustavsson/MCV Photo for The Washington Post)

The "head drop" trick - and how to do it

YouTube link. 

Here's how to perform the illusion.  Hat tip to BoingBoing for the video and the link.

Reposted now to allow you time to get the trick ready for Halloween.

The word "nothing" is a palindrome

Because "nothing" spelled backwards is "gnihton" - which means nothing.

Via Reddit, where the thread includes some real palindromes.

Every picture tells a story

Via Nothing to do with Arbroath.

How (not) to tow an unevenly distributed load

YouTube link.

I presume this video was originally created to illustrate for U-Haul renters why their heaviest items should be loaded in the front of the trailer.  Here in the upper Midwest, it's a good object lesson for the legions of people hauling boats to and from the lake on weekends.

This modern world

Even just five years ago, the image above would have made little sense.

Selections from "Gashlycrumb Tinies" - updated

I won't give you a link for the source of this abecedary, but rather encourage you to patronize your local bookstore or your local library.  Published as part of the "Amphigorey" collection, by Edward Gorey.

Addendum:  Reposted from 2011 to add the following:

"A" and "B" here, plus a link to others.