A very nice,
well-appointed lady spends about an hour browsing the stock, including
the locked cases. After building a rather formidable stack of unrelated
books worth over $3,500 (including some very scarce Mark Twain first editions),
I couldn't resist asking:
What do you collect?
Oh nothing, but I will purchase these.
(My curiosity getting the better of me) A gift?
No. I am going to use them to decorate my daughter's bathroom.
(Silly me! I failed to notice that the books were all various shades of
green. This is a good thing, since the books will soon be color-coordinated
with the mold).
Let me help you carry these out to your car.
(phone call - grownup)
I have a book I want to sell.
What is it?
It's by John Stainback. It's called "The Wayword Bus"
Who's the publisher?
I just said, John Stainback
He's the author, sort of. Let's try again, what does the copyright page say?
Where's that?
Sorry, I can't use it. Thanks for calling.
phone call...
I have a bunch of old books I want to sell on e-bay. Can you tell me what
they are worth?
Why would I want to do that?
My friend said to call you and that you know a lot about books.
You are missing my point. Why should I waste my time helping you?
So I can know what reserve to put on my books.
I charge for appraisals.
Well this isn't an appraisal. I just want to know what they are worth.
Sorry, you will have to call someone else. Good luck!
(Woman
mid-thirties, pondering a purchase)
I have never
read a book this long. It would really have to be good for me to read
this one (149 pps.).
(Woman, in her
mid 30s)
Do you have the
"Titanic" book?
No.
I'd like
to read it.
Uh huh.
Did you know
it's a true story, except for the romantic part?
(this is worse than I thought!)
You have a book
I want, but it's $30. Would you take less? I just want to look at the pictures.
It's too hot
in here! Why don't you turn on the air conditioning or something?
You could
take off your sweater.
Have you
read all these books?
Of course!
I never sell a book without reading it first.
(Real long
pause)
When do you
watch TV?
Hi, are you
hiring?
No. Not at
this time.
I like books.
So do I.
I promise
not to get in the way. I could just read or something.
Have you
ever seen the Guggenheim Bible?
Yes.
Wow!
phone call...
Are you hiring?
No.
Good! Can
I have your company's name?
Why?
I have to
tell the Unemployment Department that I am looking for a job.
This is the
Unemployment Department. Can I get your name?
(click)
phone call...
I have a
rare book.
What do you
have?
It's called
Sea Wolf.
By London.
Yea.
What makes
you think it's rare?
It's signed
by him.
Is it a first
edition?
Yea.
Who is the
publisher?
Dell.
It's a paperback?
Yea.
What year
was it published?
1976.
He must have
been pretty old when he signed it.
Yea, he was.
I have to
go now.
Do you want
to buy it?
No.
(Customer
fills out search card: 16 Chapels)
(me)
Oh, you're after books on European Churches?
No, just
books about the 16 Chapels.
16 Chapels?
Yea, you
know the one with the big painting on the ceiling.
We will let
you know what we find (once we stop convulsing).
There are more at the BookMine, which also has this interesting column.
Not sure whether to laugh or cry at these. But I prefer books over TV, myself. I also prefer the company of my ten cats to other people.
ReplyDeleteAnd this post illustrates several of the reasons why...
DeleteWant to have little fun? Go to the help desk at your local B&N and say, "I've never seen any biographies of Malcolms I thru IX."
ReplyDeleteSee how many clerks start googling for them.
Lurker111
From The Bookmine's Stupid Quotes:
ReplyDelete"
(Two women discussing Toni Morrison's "Paradise")
Have you read it yet?
Well, I'm reading it now, but I only read it five pages at a time.
Why's that?
Well, I don't want to buy it, so I have to keep going back to Barnes & Nobel to read it."
I work in a Library.
When I read things like this, it makes me want to hang it up, and work at the local brewery.
I truly don't understand why more people don't take advantage of the resources of public libraries. My wife and I are "power users," for books, DVDs, and music and we go to conferences and meetings there. And the older I get, the more it makes sense to borrow something from a library rather than to buy it to store on a shelf at home.
DeleteYour kind words mean so much to library workers who spend their day looking for "that book with the blue cover." Thank you, and I love your blog.
DeleteMade my day! Especially the 149 pages! I used to work in a secondhand bookstore :)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite was "16 Chapels."
ReplyDeleteWhich is not to be confused with the song "16 Candles."
I work in a used bookstore located in a public library. I had a customer in early December who was looking for books with red or green spines for use as Christmas decorations.
ReplyDelete