"Things You Wouldn't Know If We Didn't Blog Intermittently."
30 November 2010
"I praise you 24/7!!!!!! And this is how you do me!!!!!"
Buffalo Bills' wide receiver Stevie Johnson dropped five passes in the team's loss to the Steelers including a potential game-winner (see above), then after the game Tweeted this message:
Found at 22 words, where there are a variety of relevant comments...
BARTLET She bought her first new car and you hit her with a drunk driver. What, was that supposed to be funny? "You can't conceive, nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God," says Graham Greene. I don't know who's ass he was kissing there 'cause I think you're just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman? A warning shot? That was my son. What did I ever do to yours but praise his glory and praise his name? There's a tropical storm that's gaining speed and power. They say we haven't had a storm this bad since you took out that tender ship of mine in the north Atlantic last year... 68 crew. You know what a tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. Doesn't even carry guns. Just goes around, fixes the other ships and delivers that mail. That's all it can do. [angry] Gratias tibi ago, domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin. [holds out arms] I've committed many sins. Have I displeased you, you feckless thug? 3.8 million new jobs, that wasn't good? Bailed out Mexico, increased foreign trade, 30 million new acres of land for conservation, put Mendoza on the bench, we're not fighting a war, I've raised three children...
He ascends the stairs to the Inner Sanctuary.
BARTLET [pleading] That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse? Haec credam a deo pio? A deo iusto? A deo scito?
He stops at the top of the stairs and extends his arms.
BARTLET Cruciatus in crucem! Tuus in terra servus nuntius fui officium perfeci. [angry] Cruciatus in crucem. [waves dismissively] Eas in crucem!
Bartlet turns away in anger. He descends to the lower sanctuary and lights a cigarette. He takes a single puff, drops the butt to the floor, and grinds it defiantly with his shoe. He looks back at the altar.
BARTLET [betrayed] You get Hoynes!
Bartlet holds back tears as he walks down the aisle.
Meh. I've seen it done better.
ReplyDeleteBARTLET
She bought her first new car and you hit her with a drunk driver. What, was that
supposed to be funny? "You can't conceive, nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the
mercy of God," says Graham Greene. I don't know who's ass he was kissing there 'cause
I think you're just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman? A warning shot? That was my son.
What did I ever do to yours but praise his glory and praise his name? There's a
tropical storm that's gaining speed and power. They say we haven't had a storm this
bad since you took out that tender ship of mine in the north Atlantic last year...
68 crew. You know what a tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. Doesn't even carry
guns. Just goes around, fixes the other ships and delivers that mail. That's all it
can do. [angry] Gratias tibi ago, domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin. [holds out arms]
I've committed many sins. Have I displeased you, you feckless thug? 3.8 million new
jobs, that wasn't good? Bailed out Mexico, increased foreign trade, 30 million new
acres of land for conservation, put Mendoza on the bench, we're not fighting a war,
I've raised three children...
He ascends the stairs to the Inner Sanctuary.
BARTLET
[pleading] That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse? Haec credam a deo pio?
A deo iusto? A deo scito?
He stops at the top of the stairs and extends his arms.
BARTLET
Cruciatus in crucem! Tuus in terra servus nuntius fui officium perfeci. [angry]
Cruciatus in crucem. [waves dismissively] Eas in crucem!
Bartlet turns away in anger. He descends to the lower sanctuary and lights a cigarette.
He takes a single puff, drops the butt to the floor, and grinds it defiantly with his
shoe. He looks back at the altar.
BARTLET
[betrayed] You get Hoynes!
Bartlet holds back tears as he walks down the aisle.
I guess in the end we all come to atheism in our own unique way. :-)
ReplyDeleteAfter a relatively crappy day, this made me laugh!
ReplyDelete