Customer: Cheshire?
Wenslydale: No.
Customer: Dorset Bluveny?
Wenslydale: No.
Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?
Wenslydale: No.
Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?
Wenslydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.
Customer: (surprised) You do! Excellent.
Wenslydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
Customer: Oh, I like it runny.
Wenslydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
Wenslydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Wenslydale: Oooooooooohhh........!
Customer: What now?
Wenslydale: The cat's eaten it.
Recognizable to all Monty Python fans as an exchange from the Cheese Shop Sketch (first aired November 1972). You can access the text of Monty Python's Flying Circus sketches HERE and HERE. Never know when you might need to get an exact quote from the Spanish Inquisition, or the Argument Clinic, or Anne Elk's Theory of Brontosauruses...
Reposted from 2008 (! this blog is getting old) to add the complete video, which wasn't available to link to back in the old days:
I'm afraid the link has ceased to be...
ReplyDeleteBereft of life, indeed - probably in response to a takedown request, since the Pythons now have their own site with fulltext transcripts (inserted). Tx for the headsup, Drabkikker.
DeleteMy attempts to try every single cheese listed in the cheese shop sketch has, alas, stalled. Of the original list I find I've tried a respectable seventeen, but I really should have made a greater effort when I was in Britain.
ReplyDeleteSurely there was a cheese shop there that carried Venezuelan beaver cheese.
There's an antique yard in Bonneuil-Matours, 86210, France that actually does this. He even took us to his depot which was a huge barn that used to house 300 cows and everything was either "promised to a customer" or " already purchased".
ReplyDeleteDefinitely worth a visit just to watch him wriggle out of selling you anything.
I think he sold all the family land for millions and is just playing at being an antique dealer.