Think twice before accepting an invitation to a party. That's the lesson Tonya Bowman, 39, learned recently after a birthday bash for a newfound acquaintance at a pricey sushi restaurant.
While Bowman ordered economically -- rice, miso soup and tea -- everyone else acted as if money were no object.
"When the bill came," Bowman says, the birthday girl "smiled and made a big production by way of a toast, saying, 'Thank you all so much for my lovely birthday dinner. I really do appreciate it. You guys are great. Here's to you!' Then she just sat there, waiting for us to decide how to split the bill."
The bill for the birthday girl and her seven "guests" came to a whopping $3,450, which someone suggested splitting evenly. That worked out to $500 per person, plus tip.
"I almost started crying," says Bowman, a municipal employee in Oakland, California. "My heart was racing; my face felt hot. I was embarrassed, humiliated and angry for having been put in that position in the first place. I wasn't told that I would be helping to pay for her dinner."
When the bill was being passed around, Bowman panicked. "I simply put down $50 near my plate and excused myself to go to the restroom," she says. "I walked right by the restroom and out the front door."
The acquaintance sent Bowman an angry e-mail.
"She wanted me to know that I totally ruined her birthday dinner because she ended up having to cover the $450 that I was supposed to pay. She said she had planned to use that money on a spa day for her birthday and now she couldn't because of me. She asked if I could please pay her back, and if I didn't have the money right now, that was OK, because she would be willing to make payment arrangements with me.
WTF is right. I can't believe how nasty that was. If I had received an "invitation" like that I would have declared our "acquaintanceship" over and left. Geeze...
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