Want to drink without having alcohol on your breath?

Got a tampon? Seriously.

Nicole had been experimenting for the third time that year with a new method to become intoxicated. She had soaked tampons in vodka and then introduced them into her anus and vagina as though she were having her period, in the usual manner. She claimed her body absorbed the alcohol faster that way than if she had drank it. Soon enough, she lost control and couldn’t even make it back to her bedroom. She did it to avoid having the smell of alcohol on her breath.

“I didn’t want to ruin my minty breath,” she remembered sarcastically about her first time using the method. “I was worried about getting home smelling like beer and mom flipping on me, but I wanted to get a booze, so I did it.”

More details at the link. For males there is another applicable orifice, which also can lead to a Darwin Award.