02 February 2008

Day 983 of my captivity...


It has been suggested that the principal reason the "internets" were created was to serve as means to disseminate cute photos and stories about cats and dogs. I had vowed when I started this blog not to yield to the temptation to post such items, but I can't resist this item posted yesterday at Craigslist (abbreviated here - full text at this link):
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!...
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!...
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength... The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet... Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs....

No comments:

Post a Comment