05 December 2019

"... here in the middle of this Olive Garden."

School shootings, impeachment news, environmental degradation... TYWKIWDBI doesn't want to bury its head in the sand, but there are days when after browsing the 'net one wants a good laugh.  Herewith, from an AskReddit thread, are some of the responses to the question "Which quotation is most improved by adding 'here in the middle of this Olive Garden' on the end?"

“Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them, here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.”

“I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.”

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.”

"Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side here, in the middle of this Olive Garden."

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die here, in the middle of this Olive Garden!"

"You come to me here, and you ask me for a favor, on this; the day of my daughter's wedding here in the middle of this Olive Garden?"

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky..here, in the middle of this Olive Garden."

“As God as my witness, I’ll never be hungry again here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.”

21 comments:

  1. "We try to be the cyberequivalent of a Victorian cabinet of curiosities... here, in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are very good. The last one, however, should be:

    "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.”

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Who are those guys here, in the middle of this Olive Garden?"

    ReplyDelete
  4. And when you’re a star, they let you do it, you can do anything here, in the middle of this Olive garden.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The line must be drawn here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "On the 23rd Day of the Month of September in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence, and this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places, here in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges, here in the middle of this Olive Garden!"

    ReplyDelete
  8. ""It's alive! It's alive, here in the middle of this Olive Garden!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley here in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete
  10. "I see dead people here in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jeffery Epstein did not kill himself hear in this Olive Garden

    ReplyDelete
  12. I did not have sex with that woman ... here in the middle of this Olive Garden

    ReplyDelete
  13. I drink your milkshake - here in the middle of this Olive Garden!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country here in the middle of this Olive Garden.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "Because I could not stop for Death –
    He kindly stopped for me... here, in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete
  16. How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into the middle of this Olive Garden?

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get here, in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    Lurker111

    Edit: Actually a bit oversnarky. I personally have never been disappointed in a trip to either of our local Olive Gardens. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. What we do in life echoes in eternity here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die here, in the middle of this Olive Garden.

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Mongo only pawn in game of life, here in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete
  21. "A date which will live in infamy— the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan,here in the middle of this Olive Garden."

    ReplyDelete

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