11 June 2010

Before there was Sarah Palin, there was Dan Quayle

This week I was reading a collection of old science fiction (Nebula Awards 28, 1994), and encountered Danny Goes to Mars, by Pamela Sargent.  It tells the (fictional) story of Vice President Dan Quayle as the first astronaut to Mars, and begins with this (real) quotation by the protagonist:
“Mars is essentially in the same orbit [as Earth]. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe. 
That quote, from an interview he gave to Mother Jones in January 1990, includes the latest data on Mars... from 1890.

I hadn't thought about Dan Quayle in decades; prompted by this encounter, I looked up some of his other (in)famous quotations:
"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right there."

"You take the UNCF [United Negro College Fund] model that what a waste it is to lose one's mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

"I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future."

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO.  We are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right."

"The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"I believe very strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in our platform, is to talk about it."

"I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the Savior, for whose Kingdom it stands, one Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe."

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists."

"Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win."
More quotations here and here.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for this trip down memory lane. DQ almost makes W seem eloquent, or at least moderately intelligible.

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  2. Almost, but not quite. W is in a class by himself. And he was the president of the United States. I still cannot believe he was actually elected in 2004.

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  3. I met DQ some years ago and spent some time with him. Trust me, he is no where near that articulate.

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  4. You know, when Yogi Berra says things similar to what Dan Quayle says in these quotations, the listener knows that Yogi is being witty. Yogi is then elevated to this wise, quasi-sage personality type for saying stupid and witty things. However, in the case of Dan Quayle, well, he is Yogi Berra's film negative in the flesh.

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